My parents are currently touring Gujarat, a state where my father did his medical education. Always a foodie, Gujarat fine tuned his taste buds which were nourished on a good, simple, staple Brahmin diet which considered food to be essential for life and not the essential of life. In fact, having been exposed to the restrained and puritanical ethos of Brahmin Pune in the late 40s, he was gobsmacked by the gregariousness of the Gujarati, the riot of colour that assails you and the variety and ingenuity of Gujarati cuisine. From time to time he has visited this state particularly Ahmedabad which holds fond memories for him.

Last week, he took my mother along with him for a trip down memory lane with various side trips on un-trodden paths. So far they seem ecstatic. My mother can’t get enough of the good governance she has come across so far and my father cannot get enough of the good “undhya” he has sampled so far.

Both of them are convinced that Visiting Gujarat should be made compulsory for every Indian to realise what can be achieved here and now.

So was it coincidence or design that had this email message pop into my mail box this morning?

CHARACTERISTICS OF GUJARATI :

1. Every autowala, taxiwala, grocerywala is their kaka.

2. They never go to office, they go to HOFFIS!

3. The first rule of money – never use your own!

4. They can do Garba on any song in the world.

5. If u do not go for Navratri, u didnt exist.

6. 15 or 50, your parents will always refer to u as their baby or baabo.

7. No party is over without a round of GARBA.

8. They call all types of noodles “Meggi”!!!

9. When someone asks about a person, they say GENTLEMAN MANAS CCHEY

10. They have a PhD in bargaining by birth.

11.They can speak any language of the world in Gujarati!

12.They eat home made theplas with chhundo and athanu on business class flight.

13. CATBURY is the generic name for chocolate

14. Order soup 1 by 2, u get more quantity – be smart.

15. They shout our guts out on international calls, thinking they can hear us better that way.

16. Swimming is not for them – they call it chhabchhabiya.

17. For them electricity never goes – only light does!!!!

18. They don’t call people, they COAL them.

20. Chhas is their beer!/

21. They are everywhere, all over the globe – deal with it..

22. They go to movie HOLE and take outside SNAKES for refreshments.

23. Mount Abu is Switzerland.

25. A true gujju looks forward to eat Thai, Mexican, Italian, Chinese and Undhiyu at the cousin’s wedding…

26. At least 50% of your contacts on their phone book end with the word BHAI.

27. Being Punjabi means more chapati, less rice; being Mallu means less chapati, more rice. Being Gujju – just eat more yaar, shu farak pade 6.

28. Gujjus believe Narendra Modi is the solution for everything – from fashion style to nation’s progress.

29. Vile Parle and New Jersey feels like home – Apduj 6…

30. They will spend 1000 rupees for a 10 rupee free gifts, free ma male, etle maja aavi jai.

31. They don’t have feelings, They have FILLINGS!!!

32. “Su nava juni” is their version of wassup?

33. Falguni Pathak is Britney Spears for them.

34. After having chaat, bhelpuri, sevpuri, they make sure they ask for extra puri, and then a discount.

35. All their conversations begin with kem 6, maja ma ne, and end with, koi saaru investment batavo ne…

36. If it is beeg (big), edible and free, go on dude, eat it…

37. Bombay+Gujarat+London+ America = whole world. Nothing else exists for them

38. Everyone is invited to a Gujju home for lunch, and fed like u have come from the groom’s side.

39. If all of a sudden u hear a dhoom machale ringtone or a loud scream or a loud chit chat amongst a group, immediately assume that you are amidst Gujjus.

40. Hindi humko jara bi nahi faata hai.

41. They keep an “ELARAM” to wake up in the morning.

42. Jai Shri Krishan = Hello and Good bye

43. They take the constitution very seriously, everybody is called bhai and ben.

44. Be it seven in the morning or 1am, gaathiyas are always welcome.

45. They all own Reliance collectively …

46. Dandiya is our Prom.

47. You pack according to a 5 night 6 day holiday when going for a one day picnic.

48. Time spent at a party – Dancing (10 minutes), Chitchat (10 minutes), Dinner (100 minutes