The Tale of a Rat

I was all set to go to my yoga class when Bayda the Bai showed me a loaf of bread which had been eaten into wax paper and all. I was shocked to say the least because our trusty neighbourhood grocer aka as Vanya has never given us sub-standard goods in the three decades that I’ve dealt with him. But there it was for all to see, a huge chunk of bread which had been eaten up.  I smelt a rat and was determined to get to the bottom of it.

So I took it to the Vanya who had one look at it and replaced it with a fresh loaf. Just in passing he informed me that the bread was delivered home four days earlier……….

That set me thinking and all through the shavasan at the end of the class, I couldn’t help wondering if my inference was wrong i.e. the bread was eaten by a rat but not at the Vanya’s but at my house ! Now considering our “backside” is all boarded up and there is a strong steel scaffolding running up the entire back, it is not impossible for a rat to climb up all the way. Also, with our rear windows badly aligned thanks to the repair work, there is more than enough space for an entire army of rats to enter the house.

I called up our Security which also handles housekeeping matters and two rat catchers were despatched post haste. They arrived all ready to attack the offending rodent armed with a stick jharoo and a cloth of indeterminate provenance.

“Where is he?” they asked ready to get the first swipe .
“I don’t know,” said I.
“Oh! Then how do we kill him?”
“I don’t know. You tell me how.”
“Well first we have to catch him before we get to kill him.”
“Yes I know that,” said I sagely acknowledging a ground breaking discovery.
“Where is the bread?” asked the Rat catcher.
“Why would I keep the bread?” said I
” Oh you should have kept the bread. The rat liked that bread and he would have come to eat more of it.”
“But I’m not feeding a rat,” said I, “I’m feeding my family.”
“Hmmmmm”, thought Rat catcher no1. ” But now I will have think of how to catch the rat.”

A minute later he came up with this plan ,”I know, I’ll go down to the office and get a sticky piece of paper. And I’ll also get some rat poison.”

Off went the two rat catchers and came back with two boards with goop and a cake of rat poison.

He patiently explained to Bayda that the bread should be placed on the goopy board under the trolley where the original bread was kept. If the rat did not get stuck with this trap, then we should lay the second which was bits of rat poison all over the kitchen with some more slices of bread. “But beware,”he warned, ” this is a slow acting poison and the rat won’t die fast. He’ll slowly close his eyes and die,” he said, closing his own eyes and showing me how.

“Ok,” I said, and told Bayda that she had to remember to lay the trap in the night.

It has been two nights since that the rat has eaten the bread without even a trace of a foot print in the goop. This has led to speculation about the perpetrator of the crime…..could it be a cat or even a dog? Or in the worst case scenario it could be an iguana said Anna Shetty with all the wisdom of someone who has shared lodgings with such strange creatures in the past.

This morning Bayda was once again disappointed to see the bread was eaten but the rat was not stuck on the goopy pad. “I’m going to stay up all night and get the bugger,” she said.

I wonder if she will. I’ll have to wait till tomorrow to find out.