Do you find that as you get older, you understand more of why you acted the way you did?

Recently, I picked up courage to play Bridge, a game that I had learnt to deal with the empty nest syndrome. But soon my nest was filled with more fledglings ( my Little People) so I had even less time to spend playing cards.

This time round, however, I found that I understood the game much better. In the past, I had struggled with the card count, the bidding and even the play! My preferred game was as Dummy. But now, l am getting faster in counting, more watchful of the bidding and actually keeping count of the cards. Perhaps, there is hope for me in the future yet as a decent Bridge player.

Actually over the past few months, I am finding solutions for everyday problems . Have I suddenly become wiser?

The answer unexpectedly came to me when I explored the blog of a visitor who had left a LIKE on mine. I was thrilled with this reaction because my readers had become few and far between.

But now, like many things, I have become more aware of my ” past mistakes” and am trying assiduously to build back my audienc.

So I visited her blog and it seemed she had written it specifically for me.

I was grabbed by her quote which now served to become the title of this post.

Indeed, often times, it is only in hindsight that things become clearer to us.

Past Imperfect

So often we regret a decision, rue the missed opportunities that came our way or wonder why certain things panned out the way they did.

For instance, would things have turned out differently for me and my family had we stuck to our original plan and checked into the hotel we were booked to stay in rather than checking into another hotel just to be with our friends?

Let me explain.

In the early 60’s, under the terms of a bi-lateral collaboration agreement, the Indian Government sent along a contingent of Naval Officers to help the newly independent Nigeria to establish its own Military academies etc. The rationale was that having shared a common Imperial coloniser, the service traditions would have been familiar.

We enjoyed the ex-pat life , bonding with our fellow Indian families even though our houses were scattered all over Lagos. So when it was time to return, we decided to have a last hurrah before going back to India. Each family planned their own little holiday with the caveat that we would all assemble at Genoa to board the MV Victoria of Llyod Triestino lines for a last luxurious cruise.

Unbeknown to us, my father had applied and was accepted for a short medical course in a hospital in London. So leaving him behind, my brother and I made our way with our mum to meet up with our friends in Genoa.

We were so excited meeting up with our friends that instead of checking in to the hotel we were booked in, we went along to the hotel where they were staying.

And that one decision proved to be life changing.

While we were travelling to Genoa, my father had been received news of special permission to stay on longer in the UK and had sent a telegram to the hotel we were booked in asking us to return to London instead of proceeding to Bombay.

But because we didn’t go to the hotel, we missed the communication and hence missed the chance of staying on in the UK for maybe longer or may be even forever?

Often times, we sit back and wonder how life would have turned out for us had we returned to the UK. Would we have stayed forever?

One thing is for sure, it definitely wouldn’t have been what it is now.

The Phone Call

More recently, I was helping Anna Shetty pack her stuff to take to Jaslok Hospital , a leading hospital in South Mumbai where she was going to join a post graduate program in Internal Medicine.

I was really thrilled that finally she would be going to an easily accessible place for her post graduation studies in Internal Medicine because the four years of her undergraduate education was a nightmare for me. I literally had my heart in my mouth till she came home every night.

Her first year on MBBS at DY Patil Medical College in Navi Mumbai wasn’t so bad because it involved just an hour’s train ride from Mumbai’s CSMT to Nerul. The next three years were a nightmare for me at least with her changing two train lines that involved running between stations. Not used to travelling by local train and listening to horror stories of terror attacks, train accidents, floods in suburban Mumbai and even unexpected power outages, I was glad that she would be close by in case of an emergency.

Fast forward to when Anna Shetty’s phone rang as she was stuffing her knapsack with an apron that refused to get in. “Forget it,” she barked at me, “I’m getting late”.

“But you never know who it could be,” I countered, and picked it up even though it showed an unfamiliar number.

The voice at the other end was faint and crackly, “It sounds like a long distance call” , I said.

She grabbed the phone from me and a quick conversation later, she told me that it was from the hospital at BARC offering her a seat in Anaesthesia!

Now anyone who has attempted Medical Education in India would know how difficult the whole process is. And here she was getting an offer in two subjects!

She thought for moment and told me she’d changed her mind. She went of to Chembur an took up the PG seat in Anesthesia instead.

Often times I wonder what would have happened if I had ignored the phone call? Would she have been a general practitioner going from patient to patient at all odd hours of the night rather than an anesthetist going from hospital to hospital, dancing to a surgeon’s erratic schedule?

But we must march on

These are just a few of the numerous instances where things would have taken a different turn if I had taken the right fork instead of the left. If I hadn’t missed the first bus. If I hadn’t met the person I met. And I’m pretty sure it happens to all of us.

Life is full of probabilities and it is only in hindsight that we understand how it has panned out for us.

Regrets we may or may not have but we should look ahead and march on because days gone by can never come again.

Isn’t it?

Ciao