Twenty- five Seven

Hair or not #IAmCapable

February 15, 2016

According to me, man may be known by the company he keeps but a woman is known by the hair she wears.

A long, oily plait means a nerd.

A short , unruly mop means a tomboy .

A neat bun is a schoolteacher.

A short perky bob is a flirt .

But what is a thick mop of unruly curls make you?

It made me a Gollywog , a fact not helped by my father’s constant teasing that I was picked up from Ajegule market when we lived in Africa.

Luckily for me the use of this derogatory word was banned and I was called another name “Indira Gandhi” largely because of my long nose and dour expression.

But my entire existence has been spent in trying to tame my hair into something more presentable.This was in the days before hair spas and treatments that relaxed your hair and massaged your ego so I had to resort to overnight oiled hair and herbal concoctions to make my hair silky and smooth.

I must have done something right because one of my neighbours began calling me Demi Moore as I walked around the garden with my oversized glasses till one day Mr M ,the acknowledged rake in our building rolled down his window and leered at me and asked me to accompany him to the Race Course!

The next day I pulled my hair in an unflattering poly tail when I went for a walk.

I don’t know why a woman is judged by her hair.

The strangest reaction I got was feel a steer urchin who refused to eat a sandwich I’d given him, preferring to pass it on to someone else. When I asked him why he said because it was non-vegetarian . I was astounded when he told me that my short hair and Western wear made him come to such a conclusion!

Today after all these years, my hair has become thin and flyaway , peppered with white and grey. I didn’t know how different I looked till a friend from the past remarked ” How different you are! You don’t look like you anymore! ”

I wondered what she classified me as now.

, “I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”
Hair or not #IAmCapable

February 15, 2016

To modify an old adage, man is not known by the company he keeps but by the hair he wears.

If your hair is long , well oiled and nearly plaited you are considered a nerd.

If your hair is short and bouncy you are considered a tomboy.

If your hair is long and lustrous you are considered sexy.

But what if your hair is short and curly, thick and dark and quite unruly?

I found out that such people are called Gollywogs because I was considered one. For those who don’t know , the word WOG was a derogatory acronym for Westenised Oriental Gentleman and golly of course needs no explanation.

So here I was with my thick curly hair known as Gollywog all the years that I was growing up.

It didn’t hep my fragile ego that my own father used to tease me that they picked me up from Ajegule market (a local market on the outskirts of Lagos in the 60’s if my memory serves me right) . In fairness to him, this was purely in jest and I learnt to laugh it off but believe me , I used to wince when I overheard myself being referred to as “that Gollywog.”

Luckily for me, the word itself was deemed rude and politically incorrect so I automatically graduated from being called Gollywog to “Indira Gandhi” . Of course my long nose and dour expression contributed to a large extent for this moniker.

I hated my hair and the stereotype I was and I tried for years to tame my hair, with all kinds of remedies right from oiling it overnight to make it smooth be silky to having a hot oil massage followed by a turban of a hot steaming towel. I even tried growing it and tying it up but that caused my hair to fall.

For a while it seemed to have worked because a neighbor who used to see me walk in the garden actually thought I looked like Demi Moore especially when I wore my dark glasses. Perhaps his perception was right because one day an established roue actually rolled down his window and asked me with a leer in his voice , to accompany him for a walk to the Race Course. The next day I began tying my hair back in a severe schoolmarmish bun. Gollywog was preferable to femme fatale.

The funniest reponse to my hair came from a street urchin. One day, I stepped out of a roadside eatery and was approached by a hungry urchin. I gave him my um eaten sandwich and was amazed when I found that he had given it to another boy. When I asked him why he’d done such a thing, he said that he assumed it was non vegetarian . When I asked him whatever gave him that impression he replied it was my short hair and western attire that made him feel I was a non vegetarian.

Circumstance have changed the amount of time I can spare for hair care and my hair has become thin and fly away . It looks so different now that a person I’d known in the past actually came up to me and asked

“What happened to you? You don’t look like yourself You look so civilised ! ”

“I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”
Will you be my Valentine forever and forever? 9 fun ways to celebrate Valentine’s day

February 14, 2016

Yipee! I’ve made it to a WOW Post after a long long time

The three stages of love

Valentine’s it seems has become a very Indian festival. Yesterday, I was walking down the road behind two houseboys and couldn’t help overhearing their conversation. One boy told the other that he was going to ask for leave for the 14th. and gave him a leery wink. A third fellow who was obviously new to the city asked them why. They looked at the yokel and said ” Arre woh toh Valentin din hain na? Toh holiday lena hi padega”. Obviously the tradition of declaring one’s love on Valentine’s day would have not met the approval of their khaap panchayats, but for our young lads away from the peering eyes of their nosy neighbours, Valentine’s was a way for them to express their secret love to the women they desired.

While I personally feel this is a highly over rated, highly over hyped and totally commercialised festival, it would be nice to take some time off from the daily grind and indulge in some romantic fantasy.

The first move

Telling someone you love them is a very tricky business. There is always the chance of being re-buffed and worse still laughed at. Most people are wary of taking the first step, but here I thought of three unique ways with which you can spend time together in the hope that some love may blossom and flourish.

Joining up for a class such as cooking/painting/dancing is a great way for you to get to know each other.

Invite him/her to take a bus ride/bicycle ride/ train ride or even a plain walk through parts of the city you both don’t know. Get to know each other in the process.

There’s really nothing to replaces flowers and wine is there? But you could do this with a twist – visit a vineyard and taste the wines in situ or walk through a meadow and pick up your own wildflowers to make a bouquet. If there are no meadows around, wander through a botanical garden or flower market and show off your knowledge of botany with knowledge of each bloom.

Getting Serious

If you’ve already passed the first stage and are in the second phase of your relationship, it is time to take it further. But before you actually put the ring on her finger, it is time to test your relationship – can it withstand any change in the narrative.

Children always alter a relationship and it would be worthwhile testing his tolerance level to children ( even if you both decide you hate them and don’t want them). Similarly, he might want to check out her reaction to kids so it would be worthwhile babysitting your sister’s/brother’s/ best friends children ( preferably still in the diaper and feeding bottle stage) and see how they last out. The added advantage of this would be to give the poor parents a break and allow them to enjoy their Valentine’s Day too!

If you think your boyfriend of today is a companion for every movie, concert, gallery showing or even meeting your friends, think again. To really test his level/patience take him for a movie/lunch with your pesky aunt. She can be subjected to a similar exercise – interchanging the movie with a distinctly male activity like a cricket match.

Another way to test your love’s patience is to go shopping for someone else. This is a completely tedious task which is the ultimate test of how empathetic a person is – does he really care for a perfect stranger or is he completely indifferent?

With the ring on her finger

Finally, once you are married, love literally flies out of the window. But it doesn’t really have to be this way.

Go for a staycation i.e. is a holiday in your own city so that you don’t have to spend time and money travelling . Use that together time to relax by the poolside, enjoy the spa treatment, wander through the shops and basically just have your time together.

If going on a staycation is not possible, get rid of the children for the day. Send them off to the grandparents, give the servants a holiday and just spend the day watching romantic movies, eating pop corn and chocolate and going with the flow.

Lastly, go for a romantic sunset cruise if possible – either on the river or in the sea.

Here’s my cheat sheet to help remind you of the three stages of love.

But whether you want to celebrate this festival or not, feel the love and be blessed.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.