• Who am I to judge?

    At the end of every year TIME Magazine puts the photo of most influential person of that year on its cover. For many years it was the MAN OF THE YEAR till it became more appropriate to be gender non-specific and the title was changed to PERSON OF THE YEAR. I normally look forward to this issue with great interest for even though it is essentially one of lists, it reminds me of a Report Card, an annual keepsake of events that mattered in the world. Events that changed the lives of people economically, culturally and intellectually. This year I was looking forward to it with more interest than ever because it marked the end of another year of agony.

    My problems actually began with an empty nest when my first born went to University. Like many mothers the world over, I worried about her, every waking moment – wondering what she was doing in a foreign land, how she was coping on her own and whether she was happy in her little world. My sleep time was her day time and I spent nights thrashing in bed, imagining  what she was doing that very moment. 

    By the time she finished college, I was like a zombie, walking in my sleep most of the time but somehow managing to get by. Of course these days were not always fraught with worry but the anxiety was always there, colouring my daily life. Then one day, she dropped a bombshell, one that changed my life forever – an announcement that shattered my happy family life. I fought and struggled with myself and argued a million times but nothing seemed to help. For three whole years each day was a living nightmare culminating in the horror of all horrors in December 2012. 

    I looked forward to a new dawn with renewed hope that something would happen that would change the trauma I was facing, and that life would follow a different path, one that I could deal with. Sadly real life never follows our wishes;  we have to follow the paths in front of us. 2013 was like a sad dream for me, one where I would re-play my sad tale of woe to all those who listened whether they wanted to or not. When I look back on those days, I tell myself I’m lucky that I still have friends! But the whole of that year, I just cried literally and metaphorically, my heart breaking into a million pieces every minute of every day. 

    Then when the delivery boy handed me the TIME magazine, I looked at the Pope and something drew me to his sad and gentle eyes. He looked as though he wanted to listen to my story and was waiting for me to open the magazine. I quickly tore open the plastic cover and began reading the report. Suddenly a sentence caught my eye

    “Who am I to judge? “

    that hit me like a bolt. Something seemed to resonate within me and a weight seemed to lift off my shoulders, the blinkers seemed to fall off my eyes, the grief beginning to slink out of my heart. Who am I to judge ? I asked myself. Consequently, who are the others to judge me?

    This was by far the best advice I’ve ever had in my life – from a man I’ve never met and never likely to. This advice wasn’t even directed at me, for the article was a very general one, demystifying the newly established Pope. But it managed to penetrate the layers of sorrow that had fogged my mind and was preventing me from healing and going ahead. Today the scars still remain, and so is the pain –  dull but still around, my family is still fractured and we are still walking on eggshells because this is an event that I can never forget and possibly never forgive but every time I feel the anger rising up inside me, I ask myself 

    [tweetthis display_mode=”box”]WHO AM I TO JUDGE ? [/tweetthis]

     

    Advice comes in the strangest forms and can transform your life

     

    Advice comes to us in the strangest forms,  not necessarily from the people we seek advice from and not necessarily in the places we seek it. Often times it comes unannounced like a footstep in the dark , unnoticed and unsung. For me this rhetorical question was the advice I never sought and never asked for and found in the strangest place – a magazine article . These words transformed my life of self pity and grief and restored the old me.

    “I am participating in the #SachchiAdvice Contest by MaxLife in Association with BlogAdda.”

     

  • It’s that time of year when the monsoon clouds have gone and with Ganesha packed away, I feel the need to get ready for another round of festivities come Navratri. There’s nothing like a good lick of paint to get the house clean simply because when you actually strip the walls you get rid of a lot of clutter and by the time your painters have left, your home is pretty much as good as new.

    Sadly I can’t get my house painted every year or every other year even simply because it is too much of a fiddle in our multi generational household so I’d rather go for a colour palette that I won’t get tired of too easily. Beige seems to be a no brainer with its bland, neutral statement  but I feel this shade of white has been unnecessarily given a bad name.

     

    Just look at this gorgeous shade of autumn, of drying leaves and tea stains. There’s something classical and timeless with this unobtrusive colour that reminds you of the sandy beach, the pebbled path up a wooded slope, the drying grasses in an open field, a quiet shade that  soothes the eye. It brings to mind hot cappuccino or warm biscuits or shades of a frothy beer.

    Dull and colourless?

    Naaah! Not at all. These rooms look inviting and warm and this supposedly neutral colour easily absorbs the colour onslaught of bright accessories. After all when I throw out clutter I won’t be throwing out my favourite pillows or my sofa or even furniture, so naturally I have to consider all these factors while painting my house.

    In my multi generational home  ranging from ages 80 + years to 8 + weeks,  we not only have four generations interacting but different personalities as well. This means that everyone’s tastes, needs and preferences have to be considered. My husband and father-in-law would naturally go for something more masculine than lavender while my grandchildren around means that white is a no no. Green is not a personal favourite with my husband who associates it with some unpleasant memories of the past while red is too strong a colour for me. So beige would inadvertently become the colour of choice.

    Make the right choice

    Now anyone who has painted a house will agree that the most difficult part of getting the house painted is to choose the shade. This is of course after one has gone through the other difficult part of pitching out the rubbish that has accumulated over time. But once the dust has settled and the walls are plastered smooth, the painter will come up with a shade chart with gorgeous colours to choose from. Then he will slather some paint to supposedly make things easier for you. But is it? Not at all!

    So I found the PaintFinder on Bed Bath & More’s website a handy tool to make the right choice. Of course this application does not exactly represent my home but it gives me a better idea of how things will look like after the paint is on the wall. Bed Bath & More gives you more options than just finding the right paint – it gives you the complete run down on home decor with solutions for design and functionality. 

    IMG_1759[1]

    I had a fun time playing around with the colours and found that my  children’s room could look like this

    IMG_1763[1]

     

    or like this            

     

    Not just for girls

     

     

    PaintFinder gives you an approximate idea of what a room could like which is a better option than the cryptic answer any painter will give you ” Everything looks nice ( sab accha hai)”. The ideal solution would of course be to take a photo of your room and upload it to a PaintFinder App so that you get a real time mock up of your newly painted room. But of course that is not for the paint companies to come up with but App Developers and Designers.

    A timeless look

    In the meanwhile, just see how wonderfully welcoming these shades of aged Beige make the walls of these rooms. They make the house look classic and timeless. In our tropical climate where white can often hurt the eyes with its sharp brightness, beige rounds off the harshness with a soft touch of colour, the hint of soft sand by a bright blue sea.

     

    “I am participating in the #PaintFinder activity in Association with BlogAdda & Bed Bath & More

    Do stop by and see how others have painted their walls wild.

     

     

  • I was all of 7 when my mother and my aunt dropped off my cousin and me to Eros Theatre right opposite Churchgate station to see the Oscar winner that year My Fair Lady”  that had won most of the awards including one for its amazing sound track. Till today, the melodious sound of Julie Andrews trilling away rings in my ears. Who can forget those classics as Rex Harrison’s Professor Higgins tried his level best to  get the lady from the gutter, Eliza Doolittle to pass off as an aristocrat? I can never forget those songs, particularly Eliza’s dream of having a room somewhere.

    So often I think about that one cozy little room that is all mine where I can really curl up in a chair and read a book or watch tv and of course gobble up all those chocolates one by one.

    Pretty in Pink

    Pink is very obviously a feminine colour; one associated with childish romance, girly talk and fragrant roses but for me the dusted pink look of BedBath&More’s  inspirational rooms evoke a certain mystery and romance to create rooms that are classic and elegant. Yes, pink is the eternal colour that one never really tires of – a colour with which you can play around and accessorise easily. Blue,grey and white are obvious choices for  interesting accents and contrasts but the right shade of any colour can easily fit it with pink.

    Undoubtedly my house has strong feminine overtones with two daughters so pink would seem the obvious choice but now my two grandsons make up for this skewed gender distribution and even though they are still young, their toy cars and tool kits do not in any way clash with the perfumes lined up on my dressing table. Indeed, these little “man” things only make my pink rooms more charming and endearing.

    In real life I have a fabulous kitchen, one with an unrivalled view of the Queen’s Necklace and which leaves my visitors gob-smacked. “No wonder, ” they tell me, ” you are inspired to cook with a view like this.” I hate to tell them that this is the view I get while doing the dishes : while I cook I have to face a wall! So I love painting the wall with an inspiring colour and have always had it in a shade of pink one that goes well with the three old ceramic plates I’ve saved from an old dinner set and mounted above the gas stove.

    A huge curved wall  dominates the living space and dusky rose  adds to the sophisticated drama that unfolds as soon as you enter my home : my plump Chesterfield draped in textured beige, splattered with cushions placed and along the curved wall sits  beneath a bright Peruvian landscape. Scattered silk carpets in Navy and Camel  and antique chairs in polished ebony blend perfectly with this pink back drop.

    Pretty in Pink – perfect for a cozy bedroom

    Pink is the perfect colour for a lady’s bed room especially these deep warm colours of dusky rose. So naturally I’d like my bed room to be perfectly pink not the baby pink, ice cream pink  but a sophisticated dark salmon or burnt pink is soothing to the eye and gives me a warm, mushy feeling. Accessorised with luxurious creamy drapes and printed bed spread, I’d love to curl up in my dark polished rocking chair.

    So is pink really what you think ?

    I mean just look at these typical living spaces. Does the living room look even remotely “feminine”? It has a certain sophistication to it a warm, comfortable feel to it with the gentle touch of pink. As for the bathroom, while it is not really my idea of one – I’d prefer a more classic, softer look with fittings that don’t scream “JUST NOW” – the pink adds just the right touch of contrast to the grey tiled wall, bringing a dash of colour to an otherwise dull room. Which brings us to the bedroom which naturally has to be predominantly pink. I’d change the wall art though as it is definitely neither my style nor my colour as I would the furniture….it is too stark and functional for me. But the basic wall which is a large part of the room takes on a welcoming hue with Berger’s Coralyn 1T.

    See what I mean? Granted pink walls are a NO NO for a boy’s room it is perfect for my family of two girls. As for the kitchen, aren’t the pink walls inspiring enough for you to cook up your family’s dream dishes?

    So go for the pink, the ANTIQUE, WEATHERED,ELEGANT LOOK OF DUSTED PINK

    Painting made easy

    With the festive season coming up, many people are readying their homes for a season of celebrations. December is the time when our families come visiting and everyone is generally in a better mood. Painting the house can be quite a daunting task because very often what we imagine is not exactly what we get. If you ask your regular “rangwalla” which paint is good he’ll easily say ” All” . If you ask him for the better option or which colour will wear better showing him two to choose from he’ll say “Both”.

    How do you deal with such exasperating answers? Can you paint the entire wall/house and then realise that it is not as you had visualised it? This is where “PaintFinder tool comes in really handy. This nifty little app that you’ll find on the Bed Bath More website is a great way to find out how the walls would look. Of course it’s not the exact same thing as actually painting a room for the colour on the wall differs according to the light of day etc. but it is much better at finding out what your walls would look like rather than the enigmatic  ” everything is good.”

     

    IMG_1759[1]

    “I am participating in the #PaintFinder activity in Association withBlogAdda & Bed Bath & More

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started