• Waiting for Claire

    Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport seems to be a strange place to spend a Sunday morning especially at 8 in the morning, but since I hadn’t gone to the airport since December I thought I’d go along to see how much progress the new airport had made.I must say, it still looked one higgeldy piggeldy mess with mounds of mud covered with weeds, bits of flyover connecting to nothing and a huge umbrella of steel. But the part that was functioning was quite different in the morning.

    The airport was still waking up and being cleaned. Trolleys were being moved and the food stalls were still getting ready to open.

    The palm trees outside the airport looked green and lush and for a minute could have you wondering if you were in the right place.

    The morning calm was quite different from the frenetic midnight madness that I was used to seeing while picking up passengers.

    Seeing eye to eye
    Taxis waiting 

    But what I didn’t reckon with was the fumes of alcohol that came from the breath of meeters and greeters. Holding placards announcing names of the passengers they had come to receive, the drivers were all singularly bored. Most of them were lounging around, staring vacantly and perking  up only when a passenger showed up. Then there was a frantic activity as they all came forward waving their placards. I overheard one chap looking bewilderingly at his placard and ask another “Yeh aadmi hai ya aurat?” ( is this a man or a woman?), either unable to read the name and definitely unable to recognise Claire as a female name.

    When I told him that Claire was a woman, he went up hesitantly to a blonde lady who was  looking out for him.
    I realised then that it mattered little whether Claire was a man or a woman or whether the meeter & greeter could recognise her: Claire could read her name and would have definitely found him!

    Welcome to Bombay!

    Enhanced by Zemanta
  • Do nice guys finish last?

    Mahindra Bolero ZLX – SUV VehicleIt was noon and I was getting late. There were two cars ahead of me and at least ten behind. We were on a downhill road and were prevented from moving ahead by a green Mahindra Bolero. Despite the noisy honking, the traffic just wouldn’t move. I got down and went ahead on foot to finish off my one minute job. On the way I passed the Bolero that was blocking the road. He was going up a one way road and was completely nonchalant about holding up traffic.

    I went up to him and politely asked him to back down a bit (even though he had NO BUSINESS AT ALL TO BE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE since it was a one way road not going in the direction he was going). The guy just stared me in the eye and said:

    “I’m not going anywhere! You get into my car and take it in reverse!!!

    My blood began to slowly boil.

    You should take it down because there are cars backed up all the way to the main road.”

    ” I don’t care. I’m not moving!” saying this he just sat obstinately in his car.

    With this I was even more enraged. I just didn’t know what to do. I apologised to him for being an idiot and  hit my own head three, four times in sheer frustration-transferring my rage and impotency to myself. He still remained unperturbed.

    I went ahead to finish my job realising that there is no sense in talking to stubborn asses who insist on doing the WRONG THING .

    A while later the driver brought the car down. I asked him what happened. He told me that the green Bolero simply refused to move. So gradually someone from the building close by who had parked his car on the side came down and pulled out his car. This made way for the others to slowly reverse and carefully make space for the green Bolero to move up. And the logjam was cleared.

    This just proved one thing. In today’s world nice guys do finish last.

    HE WHO HOLDS HIS GROUND, NO MATTER HOW WRONG HIS ACTIONS, ALWAYS WINS.

    And as we all know winner takes it all.

    So today’s children should be taught the Law of the Jungle rather than the Law of the Land and courtesies and niceties be damned.

    Enhanced by Zemanta
  • Lucky Thirteenth

    The complete kit of 30+3 anarse neatly packed with a booklet and lamp to go

    Every three years the Hindu calendar makes up the shortfall of days by adding an extra month to the calendar. This 13th month which is also called the Extra Month or the month of Purshottam . Some people believe that this month which was carved out by the other months giving up a third of their quota of days is an unlucky month and doesn’t bode too well so to ward off any evil they keep a fast – which means either giving up one meal in the day or eating specific foods that are considered as “non food” for the entire month.The end of the fast is marked by giving 30 + 3 anarse to  30+3 married women or to your new son-in-law. This custom is particularly followed by the orthodox members of my community and the first I heard of this custom was when Mrs. Phadke who at that time was selling Postal Insurance schemes, called to ask if I was home as she needed to give me 30+3 anarse. With our shrinking community moving out into the suburbs, it was getting increasingly hard for her to find someone whom she knew would fit in the profile so even though we were her clients, she wanted to gift me the sweets and the customary gifts given to a married woman so that she could continue to enjoy the bliss of being a married woman.

    Like most customs, this too has fallen by the way side and it was only my interest in our dying traditions that got me thinking about things.  (more…)

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started