Miss Papaya is one of those who can easily turn on the waterworks. It doesn’t matter whether her little ego is slightly dented or if she is genuinely hurt, within moments , her little mouth curls up, her eyebrows come together and the tears just flow . When we tell her to take a hold of herself, she says, “ I can’t help it ! The tears just fall!”

I never really believed that ‘tears could just fall’ till yesterday I found myself sobbing. I was sitting by myself in the car while Hubby Dear was attending to some bank work. It was a normal morning and the day was unfolding without any hysterics, upsets or minor irritants when suddenly a teardrop fell from my eye. Before I knew what was happening another tear fell from the other eye and within seconds I was actually sobbing huge sobs as though my heart was breaking .

I was shocked by this sudden attack of tears because I’m the last person on this earth to indulge in tears. Yes, I do feel sad. I do feel bad . I do feel sorry for myself. I feel offended. I feel anger but I never indulge in tears.

Tears for me are a sign of weakness. Tears are an admission of defeat. Tears are pure indulgence.

So what made me cry ?

I’m still trying to think deep within myself what brought about this crying jag. Was it the recurrent bouts of cough and cold over the past three months that left me exhausted? Was it the almost incessant socialisation over the Christmas season and beyond that also left me drained and listless ?

But strangely, it made me feel free. I felt as though I’d rid myself of some weight like a heavy stone that unknowingly quashed my spirit. I felt lighter. Sadly, it wasn’t the twenty extra kilos that I’ve been carrying around for the past twenty years.

Ciao