• Mixed Feelings

    We’re back! Our team The Spellbinders  consisting of Ankita Singhal, Ankit Mahato, Bushra M, Bhavya Nandkumar, Deepa Dutta, Farida Rizwan, Kunal Borah, Ryan Fernandes, Ritu Lalit and myself spent some nail biting moments over the weekend when Blogadda was declaring the results.

    It was a wonderful experience to weave a story with complete strangers and to read other stories that the other teams have woven out of the same set of characters.

    To find out about the story so far read here.

    Chapter1 – Room No 4 by Ankita Singhal
    Chapter 2– Table No 4
    Chapter 3– If Looks could Kill
    Chapter 4– The Flower That Never Bloomed
    Chapter 5 – The Elephant Parade
    Chapter 6 – Chance Encounters and Changed Plans
    Chapter 7 – Relationships
    Chapter 8– When Dreams Come True
    Chapter 9 – Runaway Brat
    Chapter 10 – Where is Roohi ?
    Chapter 11 -The Investigation by Ritu Lalit
    Chapter 12 -The Backstabber by Ryan Fernandes
    Chapter 13– Breaking Bad

    and now the story continues :

    Chapter 14 :  Mixed Feelings

    Gosh! I’ve got a splitting headache, thought Tara as she opened her eyes. It was way past her normal wake up time but her life was far from normal these days.  Was getting up with a child missing and a husband in jail normal? In fact she couldn’t even remember what normal was! She felt she was falling apart. What happened? she thought looking at Roohi’s slippers peeping from under her bed? Where are you my darling? I hope you are safe? Sorry, darling I am a really bad mother that I can’t find you! God please send my Roohi back to me safely, she said looking upwards, closing her eyes, clenching her fists and remembering God after a long, long time…….
    She felt miserable at home and miserable at work. She just couldn’t concentrate on anything but was livid when someone suggested she stay home on compassionate leave. Honestly, that drove her mad! Why should she stay at home! How could she stay at home when everywhere she looked she had reminders of both Roohi and Shekhar. Yes , even Shekhar with his invisible ways still managed to make his presence felt. She sighed in regret. Was she too harsh with him? She remembered Malik’s remark that Shekhar was absent from the photos on her mahogany desk….
     Yes, indeed it did look as though Shekhar  was not a part of her life at all.  When did they begin to grow apart? And why?  In college he seemed like the perfect balm to her troubled soul when she was jilted by the son- of- a- gun whose name she even refused to say aloud. Shekhar was so different from him – quiet, studious and nerdy. Her friends were right when they said that he was the last person they expected her to marry but they didn’t know how he was the right person at that time. He was gentle, kind, compassionate and understanding. And there was something incredibly romantic about his thin specs and broody eyes.
    But then chalk and cheese can never mix can they? It wasn’t long before her restlessness and her ambition surfaced and she just had to go back to work. It was there that she truly came alive – in the world of journalism and social media which had just begun to make its presence felt . It was exciting and challenging and a welcome change from the staid, dull as ditchwater Shekhar. Before long she found herself spending longer and longer hours at the office – but Shekhar too was spending longer and longer hours at the keyboard. He would spend hours either typing or surfing the net. Doing research he said for his writing projects. It was no wonder then that she began to fall for DD’s charms. Of course she knew he was a player but that was largely where his charm lay – imagine her,  a Ms Nobody from Nowhere coming in his sights –  he, Mr. Darius Daruwala who had all the women in the world lusting after him was finally snagged by her. She was flattered and thrilled by his attention and  it wasn’t long before they became lovers. Aaah – those sweet, stolen hours during work…..Even now when she thought about it, her eyes took on a dreamy look. She knew she wouldn’t get anywhere with the affair but she was happy with what she got-  her beloved Roohi.
    But where was Roohi? She was going crazy with worry. And to think that silly inspector whatever he was Altaf Somebody, who was investigating the case actually insinuated things about Shekhar and Roohi’s DNA not matching? Wasn’t that intimidating a witness or asking a leading question? She should have asked Cyrus this when they had met last week. But that idiot, all he wanted was for me to meet Shekhar and get him out of jail. 
    *****************
    “Mr. Nanavati will meet you in half an hour sir,” said the secretary to Cyrus Daruwala who was waiting outside the office of Senior Counsel with Nanavati & Nanavati, his family’s solicitors. One of the oldest law firms in Mumbai, he knew that Mr. Nanavati would be able to help him get bail for that poor sod Shekhar who was rotting away in jail. Jail does something to you, it dehumanizes you, he thought and the poor guy didn’t deserve it. Even though he was a jerk for thinking ill of his wife.  But he was Tara’s husband after all and Roohi’s father. And something told him that Shekhar was innocent. He seemed too harmless to hurt a fly. On the other hand, he sensed some friction between Tara and Shekhar. Something was not quite right. Did they fight all the time?  I hope they didn’t fight in front of Roohi. It is the most miserable childhood a child can have, he thought  – to be brought up with parents at each other’s throats – remembering his own childhood . His parents were constantly bickering. Mama never liked his drinking, Mama never liked his smoking. Mama never liked his staying out. Mama didn’t like so many things that he always wondered what Mama liked in Papa at all? Ooh and how he used to dread those nights when Papa used to come home late. And Mama would rush to him and smell his jacket and ask who it was this time. And then Papa would rubbish her and Mama would get into a rage. Then Papa would slam the door and Mama would burst into tears. Poor Roohi. If that was what her childhood was all about, he could understand her confusion and pain.
    ********
    The waiting room at the jail was dark, dingy and depressingly bare. The minutes seemed to stretch as Tara waited for Shekhar to come. She could hardly recognize him as he shuffled in. She was shocked. He was almost unrecognizable with his loss of weight and glassy eyes that hadn’t seen sleep for days.  She actually felt some of her anger melt away  and felt a little bit of pity creeping in. Was she wrong in making him suffer? Was Cyrus right after all? Should she really try and fix him bail? It wasn’t too difficult coming up with the money.  DD would help her get bail for Shekhar, all she had to do was ask.
    “Tara?” said Shekhar in a helpless and pathetically grateful voice.  “Tara, you came?”
    It brought tears into her eyes.  “Hello Shekhar,” she said.
    He began sobbing hopelessly.  “Roohi, oh my God. I killed her.  I am such a horrible person.  I want to kill myself, but no one let me.  Have you got a gun?  A knife?  May be poison?”
    She shook her head.
    “No poison is too kind for me.  Help me Tara.  Help me die,” he said.
    She said coldly, “No Shekhar.  I will help you live.”

    **************

    What will Tara do now? Where is Roohi?  Find out by reading more  here……. (Chapter 15)

    AND here (Chapter 16)
    AND here (Chapter 17)
    AND here  ( Chapter 18)

    Me and my team are participating in ‘Game Of Blogs’ at BlogAdda.com. #CelebrateBlogging with us.

  • The Dismissal

    “Life has many twists and turns and sometimes what looks like a very bad day can just be clearing the way for good things to come.” ― J. Kim Wright

    “You’re wanted upstairs.”

    “Just now?”

    “Yes”

    “But it’s the middle of the night!”

    “What rubbish. It’s still getting on to 10. It’s not that late. Besides, you can’t NOT go”.

    “OK”

    This conversation played itself again and again in Shekhar’s head like a earworm that refused to go away. It played in the shower, it played when he ran down Marine Drive, it played when he swirled his soda in his glass, it played before he fell asleep. It played in the summer and it played in the winter. It played for the last ten years as it was playing now while he was waiting for his flight to be announced. He looked around at all the other early morning passengers waiting for their own flights. Some were tired, some were restless, they all wanted to get on with the day. Shekhar was tempted to  join the smokers in their glass cage.  Perhaps it would give him something to do. It was a long time since he’d had a smoke. It was a long time since he’d had a drink. In fact, coming to think of it, it was a long time since he’d even enjoyed a nice, juicy steak . It was a long time since he’d actually enjoyed life.

    Looking out at the planes waiting on the tarmac, he remembered all those flights from the years in his previous job.  Travelling first class, staying in the best hotels. Those business deals that he’d help close. Those flights before the Conversation that ceased to stop playing in his head. The life he’d led before the Conversation. The years before the talk he’d had with his Uncle who was also his Boss.

    Indian families are joint at the hip, often at the pocket where a man keeps his wallet, thought Shekhar as he thought of his own joint Indian family doing a joint business activity. It all started out very well with the founder of the business working hard to support his own family. Then when his sons come of age, he inducted them into the business. Everyone iwas happy-  the founder and his sons for whom business was booming. But then, the families began  multiplying with each son bringing  his own family –  more people to help and more mouths to feed.

    Shekhar was the fifth generation of Agarwals to join the family business. He was not in the direct line of succession but the  great-great-great-grandson of the brother of the founding father – Deenbandhu Agarwal’s brother PremNarain. PremNarain was the younger brother of Deenbandhu and was glad to help his brother when Deenbandhu’s own children were too small to help. Similarly, PremNarain’s son was also happy to be helping his cousins and the family business continued to prosper. Everything was fine till the fifth generation when the family entered the 21st Century. The second and third generation of Agarwals were still trying to establish themselves in the trading world having faced several hiccups in the beginning. The fourth generation took it one step further when they got into manufacturing. Backward Integration was the buzz word especially when Deepak Chacha heard it at one of the FICCI meetings he’d attended in Delhi. He was into networking and liaising and was always busy travelling up and down the length and breadth of the country getting more contacts and more business. The fifth generation went abroad to study getting degrees in engineering and management from the best universities in the world – Harvard, MIT, Wharton and INSEAD. They brought in new ideas which made even Deepak Chacha’s gyan seem outmoded and with their new business models, the business could only move upwards.

    But unfortunately for Shekhar he fell in love. And that was where it all began.

    “I heard that you’ve got a girlfriend back there in the US? Some Heather Feather? ” his Uncle thundered at him in what Shekhar felt was the middle of the night.

    “Yes Chacha,”

    ” And I’ve also heard that you foolishly agreed to marry her!”

    “Yes chacha,”

    “Now you know ours is an orthodox Hindu family. And ours is a joint Hindu family. I cannot allow you to marry this woman.”

    “But chacha, I love her and I’ve promised her that we’ll get married. And you always said that a man is as good as his word.”

    ” That’s a clever answer! You should have been a lawyer instead of an engineer….. But my decision is final. You can’t marry her. That’s  that.”

    “But I can’t live without her!”

    “That’s all nonsense. What is all this love rubbish?”

    “No chacha, I have to marry her and I will marry her.”

    “If that is your decision then you will have to accept mine.”

    ” And that is?”

    “You will have to leave the family business .”

    In his wildest dreams Shekhar never thought it would come to this. After all not only did the family spend a good crore and a half educating him in America, flying him down to India every holiday, funding his overseas “study trips” but also formally including him as a partner in the newly formed engineering company that he was heading.

    ” Did I hear right? Chachca? Leave? How can you ask me to leave the company? And now when we are just setting up?”

    “You heard what I just said. Not what you want to hear. And don’t worry, just as you can do without me, so can we do without you. Besides, if you think you can’t live without the person you’ve known for shorter than you’ve known your family, then there’s nothing that will convince you otherwise. So instead of having bad blood between us, I suggest you just leave.”

    And with that, his Uncle whom he’d known since the moment he was born literally asked his servant Pandu to show him the door.

    Shekhar was in shock as he came down the stairs. What was he to do? Granted he had a degree but he had never “worked ” in his life. “We are not servants,” the Agarwals used to say, ” We don’t go into service. We generate wealth. We work for ourselves and our families.”

    But now Shekhar was forced to work outside the family business. And he had to find a suitable job. He did have a degree from MIT but he hadn’t even bothered to stay on for the OPT after his degree, preferring to rush back home as soon as he could and get started with the new project the family had in mind. He had absolutely no experience of the big, bad world.

    The rest of the night went by in a daze. Even now after all these years, he couldn’t remember a thing except for the fact that his parents too supported his Uncle.

    “Yes beta, we support you, but you have to listen to your uncle. If you want to marry this girl then you have to leave the business. Of course you will still be our son but you will not be a part of our family business.”

    That was ten years ago when the world came crashing down. His comfortable Mercedes was whisked away overnight as was his personal attendant . He was now no longer part of the formidable Agarwal Group and was just an ordinary man looking out for a job. Deepak Chacha didn’t even allow him to come to his office, his resignation was sent down before breakfast and by lunch time all his personal effects were brought home from his office. By his former personal attendant. “I can work for you if you want, Saheb,” said the attendant apologetically, ” But I will lose all company benefits.”

    “Don’t worry, Ram Singh,” said Shekhar patting the young man’s back. ” I can’t match my uncle’s salary. I don’t even have a salary of my own! You have your own stomach to feed. I will manage just fine.”

    Those were brave words, Shekhar not only lost his job but also his status within the family and without. Suddenly he became a pariah and from being one of the most sought after party goers in the city, people began to avoid him. Of course everyone knew about his American girlfriend but they all thought it was a passing phase – besides several women thought their own charming daughter would be able to convince him to leave the Gori in the past – so he was still very much an eligible bachelor.

    But the dismissal made Shekhar a Nobody. As his world slowly crashed around him, he began to see things more clearly. He wrote down all his pluses and minuses and was determined to make a go of things.

    “Do you still want to marry me? Now that I am a penniless Indian from nowhere?” he asked Heather first thing after he got over the shock.

    “I love you for yourself Shekhar, not what you have” said Heather resolutely, sure of her love and commitment to him.

    Shekhar sighed as he saw a young couple was sharing a last passionate embrace before parting. He remembered his own wife Heather and how she had stood by him like a rock. Leaving behind her own family in the US, she came to India and settled into the household of an orthodox Hindu family. His own parents were ok with things but didn’t allow Heather to go to the family temple. Sometimes things were awkward when they bumped into Deepak chacha  in the lobby or at family dos but Shekhar was also an Agarwal and took this in his stride.

    And Shekhar also had a long breath. Within the year he found a job and married Heather. When their first child was born, Shekhar was made country head and had an office staff of 60 working under him. By the time his second child was born, the company had expanded to all the four major metro. Shekhar moved out of the family home and into his own apartment (not company owned as his uncle imagined).

    Within ten years, the storm had passed and Shekhar settled down.

    In the same time, the Agarwal family began their downhill journey. It all began with Deepak Chacha’s stroke. While he was recovering, his son began interfering with the business, completely disregarding his own uncles and managers. By the time Deepak Chacha returned to the helm of affairs, the rot had already set in. Business slowly began to shrink. The Agarwal family began to lose its lustre. The parties were the first to stop. Then the servants began to leave one by one as did the others in the family.
     
    “MXP 1853 Milan to Munich now ready for Boarding. Passengers please proceed to Gate D 5”

    For a moment the earworm stopped playing as Shekhar picked up his overcoat. It wouldnt be long now, before he’d be back home. In the comfort of his own family.

    This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

  • The other day Anna Shetty and I were talking about living life to the fullest . Too often put off till tomorrow what we can do today and this means that many things we want to do remain un-done. There are some days when we go to bed with regret for the things that we haven’t done and with the wish of doing it the next day. But somehow this wish remains unfulfilled and the task or desire falls by the way.

    Of course, inspirational and motivational speakers and writers will tell us that we ourselves are responsible for this sorry state of affairs because where there is a will there is a way and we should live each day to the fullest – live each day as if it were your last.

    This made me think of what I’d do if it were really my last day on earth.

    • The first thing I’d do is throw away all those clothes in my cupboard of various sizes and vintage that I’d kept so carefully in the hope that one day they’ll fit. In fact I’d empty out my entire wardrobe.
    • I’ll eat up the whole chocolate cake and tub of ice cream that I’d been rationing out over the week in order to stretch out the goodies for that much longer
    • I’d use up all the perfume that I have so that I go away smelling great
    • I’d spend my entire day tidying up as I won’t want to leave a mess behind. I’ll give away all my stuff so that there’s nothing left behind me for others’ to throw away.
    • Lastly, I’d tell everybody exactly what I thought of them – especially those I’ve avoided hurting, getting things off my chest because I’d be able to go away with a clean and unburdened mind
    There are probably many,many more things I’d like to do such as see all the movies I’ve wanted to see, read the books I’ve been meaning to read, paint the paintings I’ve wanted to paint, listen to the music I’ve wanted to listen, write the words I’ve been dreaming of writing, meet the people I’ve wanted to meet, eat the food I’ve been dying to eat and visit all the places I’ve always wanted to see. But these things are obviously not doable in a day. Besides , there won’t be much time or energy left after doing the five things I most want to do.
    But, if I really do all these things and still wake up the next day on this planet what do I do then? Especially when I’ve divested myself of all my material goods? And I’ve made a whole load of enemies by tell everyone exactly what I’ve thought of them?
    So, in my opinion, this is not a good idea. You should live each day to it’s fullest, judiciously and with appreciation,  savouring every moment, using every opportunity presented to you and NOT as if you will never get it again.

    This is my post for  the Write Tribe ProBlogger September Challenge.

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started