Two cellphone SIM cards (bottom and top) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Early this morning I was in mid-conversation with someone on my mobile when suddenly the connection dropped. Since a bad signal is the direct result of our success in trying to reduce the number of Cell Phone towers in our neighbourhood, we have no one else to blame ourselves for this state of affairs. Actually I love this erratic phone connection which reminds me of the olden days when we cut off conversation mid-stream and attributed it to a faulty line…………However, this was an important call so I called back only to  tried to get an error message saying that my SIM was not working.

So I pulled out the erratic SIM and re-inserted in not once but twice in the hope to get a signal. Of course Hubby Dear and Anna Shetty were quick to attribute this message to my ‘non-payment’ of bill which incidentally I have not yet received.

For the major part of the day I was blissfully disconnected from the world and enjoyed hours of silence. But since mobile phones are vital to today’s lifestyle, I had to resurrect my phone for others’ convenience if not mine. Deciding which Vodafone store to go to is of vital importance because I am convinced the attendants at different locations are meant to merge with the populace in that area. So if you go to the Vodafone store on DN Road, you are bound to rub shoulders with peons and drivers of all the ‘important’ people who work in the offices close by. Similarly if you go to the Vodafone store on Girgaum’s main road you are bound to come across frizzy haired housewives, or petty shopkeeper or anyone who looks lost. On the other hand, the Vodafone store at Churchgate has an eclectic clientele and you can easily find shopkeepers, students, foreigners, posh housewives, professors , drivers and peons all moving with equal ease.

Since my experience with Vodafone has not been very good, I didn’t want to aggravate things by choosing the wrong shop location so I went to the Churchgate store. Luckily even though my token no. was 107, my number was called out in minutes and even though I was called to the counter which was not on my token, a silent Mr. Smith took my phone and asked me what my problem was. After explaining it to him he looked at the instrument rather suspiciously so I prised it open and pulled out the offending SIM card. From then on, I couldn’t make out what was happening because I had so cleverly pulled off my reading glasses when I had put on my glares. Mr. Smith then asked some other guy to help with the problem and while he was busy punching various keys on the key board, I had a whiff of his generous BO ( my problem entirely since my nose is exactly in line with most people’s armpits at the best of times) while I tried to figure out if Vodafone was attending to my problem or some other problem.

After scribbling on a form, my SIM card was folded in one corner and I was asked to sign my name. Before I could sign, he reconfirmed my identity by asking me  if I was MR XXX , my husband’s name on which my phone is registered. I wanted to ask him if I looked manly enough but thought the better of it and went across to the other side of the counter where I was given a new SIM card and the assurance that the phone would be activated within 2 hours.

It is now well past the time and I am still waiting for my phone to ring………….

To tell you the truth, I am happy to be in my silent, unreachable world.

p.s. the Title of this rant should be sung to the tune of ‘Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, how true you stand unchanging”