Today was one of those days where I actually felt happy. After a long time.

I am happy most days but today, the happiness was different – I felt lighter, calmer and more at peace.

This was all the more significant after the weird experience I had yesterday, where I just froze with fright and, for the first time in my life, felt inept, incapable and stupid. It wasn’t because I didn’t know how to do it, but because I was scared. Scared that if I gave the wrong advice, I would be screamed at.

For the past several days or may be months, I’ve found that what I said wasn’t going down very well with my family. Suddenly from being a person who could solve any problem, I became a bumbling idiot. My content was wrong, my tone was wrong and my timing atrocious. Thus even the most innocuous comment was dismissed as foolish and unasked for. Sometimes it was a mild rebuke but on two occasions it turned into a loud screaming tirade that actually made me feel that I’d committed a heinous crime. Since then, I prefer to keep my counsel lest it be misconstrued.

So we were going to a building which we had never been to before and even though the GPS was on, when we took a little detour, its orientation changed and for a while I was confused. So when Hubby Dear stopped the car and asked me if he should turn left or right, I just froze. I was too scared to answer lest he took the wrong turn ( because of my directions) and then listen to him scream at me for the rest of the ride.

Eventually we did find our way but my self-confidence was shattered. Since when did I become so incompetent?

I found that I was not alone in this shift in family dynamics – many of my friends are in a similar situation when problem solver becomes a problem.

This made me deeply unhappy.

I got up feeling sad and barely went through my yoga routine. Sorry, Saurabh, I could just about do the warm-up before abandoning the session. The walk downstairs didn’t do much to lift my spirit.

But after a delightful afternoon spent in the company of my cousin, left me feeling exceptionally happy. Because she shared with me her experience on choosing to be happy.

THE SECRET OF BEING HAPPY

It is essential, she told me, to identify what is making you unhappy or sad. Write it down and think of what you can do to change it. If you can’t, just accept it and decide that it is not going to get you down. Crumple up the paper and throw it away..

Thus, you should choose to be happy. Because a happy mind makes for a healthy body.

So tonight, I’m going to bed, choosing to be happy.

Ciao,