• The Circle of Life

    Circumstances make strange bedfellows.I go a lot by instinct. It is instinct that protects us from harm – at least that’s what I’d always believed. You might call it strange but very often the people I like depends on whether or not I like their feet. Now that’s a kinky criterion for liking people but it works for me. May be it has something to do with my old nanny who had the ugliest feet I’d ever seen – they were wrinkled and hardened like an old shoe with the big toe climbing on top of the others. And thick yellowed nails that were chipped and splintered. Her heels had huge big cracks that were like little black worms crawling up her thickened soles. And they were big: huge, ugly feet .Unlike most nannies who were kind and loving, my nanny had a mean streak in her. I actually think she hated all children and me most of all because she never once spoke to me nicely – always scaring  me that my mother would never come back if I didn’t do as she said.   She also never hesitated to give me a hard whack every now and then. I really hated my nanny  and would dread her heavy step as she approached my room.

    I used to tell my mother that I didn’t like nanny and she should find me another one, but mother said that Granny had decided who was to be my nanny so we couldn’t just change her. Actually, I hated Granny too and realised that she too had ugly feet- they weren’t cracked and twisted like nanny’s but they were soft and pulpy and very, very flat which made her look like a duck when she walked. Gradually I realised that most people I didn’t like had ugly feet and from then on I instinctively started being wary of those with ugly feet. And my world was divided into people who were friends (that is those with good feet) and those who were enemies (those with ugly feet). So when I saw Cyrus Wadia’s feet for the first time at the swimming pool, I wasn’t in the least surprised why I had always hated him from the minute I set eyes on him.

    It was in class 8, the first day of school when Cyrus made an appearance in our class. Since I was the smartest  and most popular boy in class, Mr. Menon asked me to take him under my wing and help him settle in. This was not a task new to me as I have always been a helpful person and loved making people feel comfortable. But for the first time I resented this task. Why me? I thought , couldn’t Mr. Menon assign the task to someone else? I suppose I must have shown my reluctance for Cyrus was equally slow to respond to me. People say that I’m a great raconteur but Cyrus didn’t find any of my stories funny and frankly I wondered if he got the point at all because he just stared back with an inscrutable stare from behind his thick glasses. But still, I’m not one to give up easily and tried many ways to break the ice. Eventually I had to give up and everyone accepted the fact that this was one person who would never be my friend.  And during  our swimming lesson when we all changed out of our uniforms and into our trunks, I realised why I just didn’t like him – he had huge ugly feet with  long, bony,simian, toes. His feet just gave me the creeps.

    Gradually this dislike for his feet spread to the rest of his body, particularly his brain which turned out to be as good as mine  and it wasn’t long before he and I became rivals and natural enemies of one another, a situation that lasted all through high school and even college. Normally school boys outgrow rivalries  by their late teens but strangely ours went way beyond that into our early adulthood, a fate that was sealed by the final nail in the coffin when he got the job that we’d both applied for. I resented the fact that he was chosen over me and resolved to get back at him sometime, somehow in my life.

    But childhood hatreds and resolutions are often lost or rather forgotten in the rat race of every day life. With him settled in California and me in Mumbai, there was enough distance between us to forget about hating each other. In fact I’d often laugh about it when any school friend brought it up during out infrequent class reunions which turned into maudlin trips down memory lane. That was till the time I met with THE ACCIDENT which was not merely an accident but a life changing event. Within that one split second I lost my wife and most of my life – left as I was with chances of living the rest of my life a semi-cripple.

    However, fate was kind to her Golden Boy and my only daughter now settled in Miami came down to be with her old man. Unfortunately she was settled in the US and her life in Miami meant that she couldn’t stay with me for long spells and after a year of trying to get me back on my feet, decided that I would be better off with her in the US. Much as I tried to resist her bullying ways, I had to agree that it was the best option for her to discharge her duties as a loving daughter and I had to co-operate. After years of dragging her all over the world with my job, it was now pay back time for me and I had to accompany her to the US.

    I hated the US even more than I hated being alone in Mumbai. I knew I was being ungrateful because my daughter had set me up in her “Granny” Home, an independent little cottage alongside her house. It had everything I could ask for – all the material comforts and her frequent, unannounced visits and those of her children should have made me feel blessed. But I was being resentful and hurt and angry that I had to suffer the indignity of being uprooted in my old age and being forced to re-adjust in a strange environment much against my will.

    One day while I was waiting at the checkout at a Department store, I heard a familiar sounding voice, American but with a faintly discernible Indian accent. Like all Indians abroad, I was curious (do we all really know everyone on this planet?) and found to my surprise that the person looked vaguely familiar too. Outside, at the car park, I found that our cars were parked next to one another. He continued staring at me as I put the groceries away, trying to jog his memory as I was mine. I had seen those grey eyes somewhere, I thought, even though they were rheumy and lost in a face that was weathered and bearded. He saw me fumbling with my wheel chair and came forward to help me get in. As soon as his fingers touched mine, I felt a strange sense of recognition. The animosity that had separated us surfaced from my subconscious. I almost instinctively wanted to take my hand away from his, unwilling to look up into his face and see the pity that would undoubtedly be there. But he was already too far gone in helping me and I couldn’t take my hand away. He seemed to sense the same feeling for suddenly he said ” Oh my God! It’s you! What are you doing here?”

    It seemed churlish to refuse to recognise him and I shook his hand. We both seemed to shrug off our past animosities and I  told him my story. It seemed he had a similar story – his wife did not die in an accident but after a long and painful illness , one that left him lost and miserable.He had cracked up completely and his son had brought him down to try and re-construct his life. It was an hour before we realised that we were still at the parking lot! Our phones rang almost simultaneously – it was our children calling to find out if we were ok. We laughed as we put our phones away, transported back to our school boy days when we had to be back home in time before our parents got into a panic.

    We exchanged phone numbers awkwardly, almost reluctantly  before we went our ways.

    That was over five years ago. Since then I have regained my mobility and some quality of life. I now play bridge twice a week and golf for another two. And once in a while I go on a fishing trip or to the farmers’ market. And yes you guessed right – all these activities are shared  with my good friend Cyrus who made me heal again.

    This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

    I am also linking this post to WriteTribe ProBlogger Challenge.

     

  • One of my New Year Resolutions was not to whine. Yes, it is true that when you whine , you whine alone and no one wants to listen to a whine – least of all  you yourself when you realise that no one is listening to you!

    Convoluted as this logic is, I realise that I am prone to whining like many millions of people who somehow manage to fall back on their resolutions made on New Year’s Eve or otherwise. Making resolutions is easy but following them can be hard – not because of the lack of will to do so but often because circumstances come in the way.

    Take my New Year Resolution to write every day

    Everyone on the net and beyond will now have read my story of woe and how my computer melted down and how I could not access the net and how I could not blog  and blah, blah, blah

    Blog without guilt 


    Then just as I managed to get my computer ergo my life back on track, a family hiccup made it difficult for me to blog. In fact I wonder if other bloggers have a similar problem – blogging in snatches and feeling guilty about it . I mean blogging is harmless enough yet whenever I sit down to blog the bell rings, the phone beeps or someone calls out to me to do something. Hurriedly I shut down my computer and my thoughts and get back to real life with a guilt akin to being caught doing something naughty.

    Do Yoga at the crack of dawn


    This past month Mumbai has been experiencing unusually cold weather. Cold for us but laughable for the rest of the world who would find 27 degrees C a warm summer day! But at 6 in the morning when you get out of your bed it does become rather hard to go down and walk in the compound without wearing something warm. And then within minutes when your body is warmed up, walking with a sweater becomes ridiculous and downright uncomfortable……….so naturally I felt it better to exercise at home with some meaningful yoga.

     After a week of deep breathing and meditating in the morning, I did get down to some stretches but preferred to go straight into Shavasan or the Dead Man’s Pose ( which incidentally is the hardest Yoga pose believe it or not!) and then gradually giving it up altogether!

    Think positive thoughts


    With everyone sneezing in your face and bad news read out on the top of the hour every hour, it can become difficult thinking positive thoughts especially when there are lots of jobs to be done that seem no where near getting done.

    BUT

    I’m going to remain inspired and continue with my New Year Resolutions and catch up with them as fast as I can.
    So, here’s my second blog post for writetribe.com/write-tribe-pro-blogger-challenge/   with the hope that I’ll be more regular in week 3!

  • The days pass by in a whirl – such a whirl that I can’t remember what has happened on what day. In order to keep track of things, I’ve kept a diary at my desk and one near my bed side table so that I can make notings of what has happened on that day. Is this a sign of old age or is this a New Year Resolution to be more organised?

    Millions of us all over the world begin the year with resolutions to have a more fulfilling year than the previous one. We solemnly resolve to

    • be more disciplined
    • be more particular
    • be more fruitful
    • be more efficient
    • be a better person.

    In the quest to achieve these goals we give ourselves tasks like regularly walking, exercising, eating, reading, meeting friends, or whatever it is that will make this year better than the earlier one.

    My one new year resolution was to be a better and more regular blogger but this was stymied by technology. With the New Year crackers and guns that boomed at midnight, my computer had a meltdown and when the computer engineer opened the casing he found one solid mass!

    Now anyone who has the remotest connection with technology will know that technology is not what it was while I was growing up. In those days when any machine didn’t work, all it required was a simple disassembling and one could at least try and figure out where the problem lay. But with today’s digital world and virtual reality, things are not what they seem. So if you open up any machine you will find parts that you can’t even attempt to identify leave alone try to fix. This means that you are completely dependent on the technicians and gizmo geeks to help you out. My computer wiz was away in Baroda hence my computer remained lost to me hence I couldn’t fulfil my new year resolution of being a more regular blogger.

    I hope now with my new Windows 8 operating system in place and a new computer tower my resolve to be more regular will be off to a good start.

    Which brings me to my long pending New Year Resolution that is – try and do a basic course in computer technology so that I can at least identify the glitches in my computer rather than depend on someone for the tiniest of snags……….

    But then what are resolutions made for anyways?

    To be broken…….

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