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| English: A gift wrapped in yellow and green paper. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
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| This is the gift table that my sister made. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
The other day I was clearing up and sorting out things when I found a beautiful box tucked away in the cupboard. I also found some bits of ribbon and envelopes and coloured paper……..
Aaah – it brought back memories of gifts given and gifts received. Some strange and some full of love.
What joy it is to get a gift. And greater still to gift
Blessed is he who gives
The season of giving is upon us especially with the recently concluded Joy of Giving Week . Started in 2009, this is now an annual activity beginning from 2nd Oct ( Gandhiji‘s birthday) and is a great opportunity for NGOs to collect funds for their activities.
Somehow when the monsoon clouds lift and the festival season begins, my gift giving instinct kicks in and I start thinking of what I’d give.
With all the sales going on, it is quite tempting to shop for stuff in the hope that one day I’d be able to gift it to someone especially since I remember Mrs. P who always had a gift to give you when you visited her house. Miraculously she’d whip out something from her treasure trove of gifts and it would always be just what you’ve always wanted – a pretty scarf, a little trinket, a tiny bottle of perfume, a scented soap, an embroidered hanky or an exotic bauble – something that you treasured as a memory of a pleasant association.
But very often I find that when I stock up on possible gifts I land up not gifting any so now I prefer going out at the last minute to shop
To gift or not to gift
Gift giving is a cultural thing. I remember giving caramel candies to my class mates on my birthday in elementary school when we were allowed to bring in a bag of sweets to distribute to every child in class. We were also allowed to wear a party dress and what a thrill it was to stand in front of the class and have everyone sing Happy Birthday. And then you were allowed to pass the bag round or hand it to each child if the teacher felt indulgent.
This simple act of distributing sweets has ingrained in most of us the joy of giving gifts and I love going out looking for what I feel is the perfect gift.
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| Traditional envelope containing money as a gift, (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
But what I find more pleasurable than giving gifts is the actual wrapping of the gift and actually spend a lot of time looking around for gift wraps and gift wrap ideas. Sometimes I get so carried away that I often land up gifting something that looks more glamorous than the gift itself – what is now dubbed in my family as a SAMSUNG gift (where the packing is more overwhelming than the item!)
On the other hand, when I’m really stumped I take the easy way out and slip some cash into a decorated envelope and write a suitable message. This I find is by far the best gifting option when the person is really free to do what he wants with the money rather than be saddled with a gift he doesn’t want. Yet once I remember being ticked off by my nephew who was all of six, who looked rather disappointed at his coloured envelope bearing money who said ” This is
not a gift!”
Perhaps cash is not a gift for a kid but it is infinitely better to know that it will be accepted rather than be thrown in a dustbin or even passed on as I know some people are wont to do!
So what is the perfect gift?
Now that’s a really hard one.
Sometimes you give a gift because you want to give a gift or sometimes you give a gift because you have to give a gift.
- Some cultures deem it rude to land up as empty handed so you often take a “token” which can be far ranging from chocolates, bottles of wine or alcohol, homemade goodies, or just fresh flowers.
- Some people like to honour those who visit their homes especially for the first time with a gift to be remembered by
- Taking a convalescing person a gift of fresh fruit or magazines is almost always appreciated by other visitors if no the patient himself!
Very often you have to give a gift
- To commemorate an occasion like a birth, wedding, graduation, rite of passage or celebrations
- To thank someone or show appreciation like a kind of repayment in kind for a service done for free
What do you gift?
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| Pile of gorgeous gifts (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
Typically it depends on your budget, your imagination and your desire to give a gift. Gifts can range from the very simple to the very bizarre like the herd of wild
Indian Buffalo (Mithun found in
North East India) gifted to Prime Minister
Jawaharlal Nehru by a tribal leader allegedly showing an interest in marrying his daughter!
The easy way out of course is cash either slipped discreetly in the hand or in a fancy gift envelope inscribed with an expression of good wishes . This is the best short stop option especially when the occasion arises unexpectedly. But, if you want to show the giver that you’ve take some effort, you could give a gift voucher.
In fact, to avoid getting gifts that they don’t want particularly at weddings of people setting up home. the couple often have a Gift Registry where they tag their wish list at different stores or in current times, put up on a wedding site for people to contribute to. Personally I think this is in poor taste especially when it seems that your guests are funding your honeymoon!
The dilemma of giving a gift
With everyone having so much and such strong likes and dislikes, gift giving can become a dilemma. How do you give a gift without embarrassing the receiver? How much is too much and how little is too little? There was once an aunt who rang me up terribly agitated by the box of mangoes I’d sent her simply because her husband was a government servant and she didn’t want the neighbour’s tongues to wag when I’d sent her the gift!!!
These are questions that we all face from time to time. If you give a gift that is really of low monetary value you run the risk of offending the person while on the other hand, if it is way too expensive you may be dismissed as a show off or having an ulterior motive or worse still just passing off something that you don’t want yourself!
The joy of receiving
Growing up, I remember going to visit an aunt of mine who always sent you back with a smile and a “token of her affection” and going to her house was a much looked forward to visit. Not only was she fun, but like a year round
Santa Claus , she would run into her room and open up a cupboard stashed with with gifts suitable to give to anyone who visited – quaint vases, little trinkets, chocolates, handkerchiefs, perfume anything that she slipped into your hand just because she was happy you came to visit and loved seeing the look of joy on your face when you got the gift. And if there was nothing that was suitable for you, she’d slip some of the biscuits you were served in a goodie bag just because they happened to be your “favourite”.
Indeed, receiving a gift is an art in itself. There are some who ooh and aah excessively often embarrassing the giver with their rapturous comments. There are others who accept it with deep embarrassment and acknowledge it cursorily while others who protest ” But you shouldn’t have” or ” But why?”
Gift receiving can also be culturally dictated like the custom of touching the gift giver’s feet especially when the person is older, or giving a big hug or shaking hands.In some cultures you are expected to open the gift in front of the giver while in others this is considered very rude and the gifts are opened discreetly.
Whatever your gift receiving style, it would be only well mannered to accept a gift graciously rather that refuse it or return it even sending it back to the giver!
Some unforgettable gifts
I remember that my father was once given a stoneware coffee set by his friend who was grateful for curing her of a skin allergy. Since my father was working in a service which technically forbade him from practicing medicine privates, this coffee set was hidden well out of sight , in the deep recesses of the cupboard for fear that someone may see it~
In my own cupboard, I have a crystal nail file which was gifted to me by a complete stranger – the wife of a business associate who was stuck for a gifting option! Till date this has been the most intriguing gift I’ve ever received.
But do gift!!
This was in marked contrast to another relative who would use the handy excuse of ” I don’t know what you want” or “You have so much already” or any other lame excuse to cry off not giving a gift.
Gifts are a mark of affection and even though they kind of oblige you to the person doing the giving, don’t look too deep into the gift horse’s mouth.
In this season of bonhomie and good will, express your love and affection with a gift well chosen.
Twenty- five Seven 