Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest… It’s about who came, and never left your side…
You, my dear friends are those who remain
Close to my heart through thick and thin
I’ve known you long and known you well
And am lucky to know you still.
We do not talk for days on end
And meetings are far and few
But through the silence that separates
Our worlds and lives
We remain connected so that when we meet
We’re back to where we left off
Picking up conversations where we stopped
I met some of you when I was young
And some when we were grown.
But the ties that bind us all
Are strong and remain
You’ve been with me for all these years
Enriching my life with yours
Sharing toffees and lots of coffees
Listening to my heart’s outpourings
Celebrating my life’s golden moments
And including me in yours.
Most people have one close friend but I am lucky to have more than one . I have more than half a dozen friends and each of these women complete me in their own unique way.
They’ve come into my life at different times and stayed along beside me.
I don’t meet them every day, I don’t always talk to them everyday, but somehow we remain connected through the silences that separate us.
I first met my oldest friend Tina in a hotel in Lagos, Nigeria. Our parents were posted there and we had no option but to be nice to each other. I remember meeting her officially at my fourth birthday party under the watchful eye of our parents. She wore a pretty primrose yellow frock and a crooked grin with a tooth missing and had a broad white band to keep back her curly locks from flying into her face. I had on my new lilac twinkle nylon frock and an equally crooked grin with two teeth missing in the front. I shyly accepted her gift and held her hand and took her away from our parents’ gaze.
We connected almost instantly and it wasn’t long before we began talking. And it is thirty years now since we first met and haven’t stopped talking yet.
I met Ayesha on that first day in Class IX,that momentous year when we had to decide whether we wanted to be doctors or lawyers or accountants or whatever. Our classes were shuffled around and I was the only one from my old class and was apprehensive about my new classmates. But I needn’t have worried for Ayesha spotted me and introduced me to the girls she knew from baby days. We’ve remained friends since then – those days of holding hands before the school social, till now where we share concerns about our husbands’ health.
On the first day at the Alliance Francaise, a tall, gangly girl introduced herself: “Je m’appelle Zoya”. And that’s when I got to know Zoya, my friend all through college. We’d sit together in class, sip tea in the canteen and go back on the same bus.
Kripa was one of the cool girls in college,the ones who wore kurtas and kolhapuris and smoked cigarettes in the recesses of the corridors.I used to watch her from a distance and only got to know her much later in life when both of us met by the poolside, watching over our children while they swam and we yakked. It was the start of a friendship that still exists.
Another dear friend with whom I touch base regularly is Meera who was also a classmate in school before she became a friend for life. I can’t remember exactly when our acquaintance turned to friendship but slowly from conversations of whose doing what with whom and where, our conversations turned deeper, touching upon the metaphysical and the after life.
Rani was introduced to me by my husband-to -be who actually wanted to run me by her before popping the question. I still recall that meeting one rainy evening over thirty years ago. Her dark eyes looked me up and down and I wondered if I would pass or fail? I passed the test and she became a friend who is now closer to me than to my husband.
At forty plus, I thought I had enough close friends and least expected Sonia to join my list when she asked me to make up the fourth in Bridge. Both of us had empty nests and looked forward to those afternoons when we shared news about our girls and established a common bond that lasted long after we stopped playing cards.
Making close friends is hard for who in this world has time to really hear what you have to say? So I count myself lucky indeed to have more than one close friend.
