Indians do not canoodle in public.

Indians do not hold hands in public.

Indians do not gaze at each other in public.

The only thing Indians do uninhibitedly and unabashedly in public is defecating and urinating.

[bctt tweet=”Yet how did we manage to become 1.27 billion people?” username=”viaunishta”]

This question is particularly baffling because Indians do not do so many things in public and don’t really have much space to do them in private either.

toe rings (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last night after dinner while our multi-generational family was engaged in some interactive family time, the conversation, as usual, centred around family and more family. Father-in-law and mother-in-law were in full cry apprising Daughter No 1 (who is currently visiting from the US) of family trees, family gossip, social mores and customs long antiquated and abandoned but still alive in their memories. While talking about women covering heads and why we do not cover heads, FIL came up with this pop question :

DO YOU KNOW WHY WOMEN WEAR NOSE RINGS AND TOE RINGS?

Looking at our non-plussed expressions he triumphantly came up with this explanation :

FOR BETTER SEX.

That was a conversation stopper for sure.  However, we quickly picked up our dropped jawlines and quietly crept into our respective bedrooms. All the while, we looked down pointedly at our un-toe-ringed feet.

While I know that sex was not invented by the young and that it was vigorously practiced by our ancestors
( or we wouldn’t be here today, would we? ), I was quite amazed to find it a part of a normal U Rated after dinner family conversation, for Indians don’t talk about sex in public either. Still reeling from the shock of hearing the word SEX mentioned so openly by my octogenarian FIL, I thought that maybe he did have a point there.
Consider this :
His mother was one of  eight daughters
He himself was one of seven siblings
My husband is one of three siblings
My own grandfather was one of seven siblings
While my own parents were one of four
I have only one sibling.

Also, consider this :

His grandmother and mother as did my great grandmother and grandmother, wore nose rings and toe rings every day of their lives.
His wife and my mother -in- law wore them occasionally.
His daughters and daughter -in- law wore them only on their wedding day.

His daughters and daughter-in-law have only two children each.

there is a correlation between sex and the rings on your nose and your toes.

So throw out those romantic dinners with candlelight and roses – go instead for the time and tested desi aphrodisiac, get your nose pierced and wear those rings on your toes.

p.s. Our grannies really did know best.